Saturday, October 6, 2007

My Cat's True Identity

Former Incarnation: Al Capone

Aliases: Biggie, Mugsy, Vinny, Chunko, Bunto, Killer,Claws, The Predator, Meanie, Feathers

Description: Subject is known murderer, and has taste for the blood of birds and small rodents. Although known for rough behavior, subject always remains well groomed and wearing immaculately tailored coat. Fur may be illegally imported from Italy. Probably has scars. Runs catnip ring, and extorts cat food from others. May meow with slight Brooklyn accent. Prefers to stay in its own neighborhood, but strays into other areas at night. Fearless defender of the homestead from all invading squirrels or mice. Does not give a hoot about other cats, and will attack just for kicks. Good for a quick cuddle, but do not push this cat too far. Protective eyewear suggested. Ankle injury likely upon meeting subject. Has earned a degree in creative shredding of valuables. Loves gangster movies.

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